Rūta MUR, who will perform at the MO marathon of the opening of the new MO museum exhibition "Shito pas mus nyla" on March 9, is going through a stage of creative waiting - her fourth album will be released in May. Exclusive a concert Rūta, which will be held at the museum, is happy with the opportunity to perform in unique places that allow the music to sound more special.
"I think that courage is the pleasure of living. Few can experience it, at least for a short time," says the music creator. As a teenager, she had to fight with her fists for her uniqueness in the courtyards of the port city, she says she learned courage with time. Rūta and I talk about the difficult teenage life without conforming to the standard, freedom of expression, fulfilling fantasies on stage and how to find the courage to be yourself.
Rūta, on March 9 you will appear at the MO Museum. What is your relationship with art and its spaces? Do you find inspiration there?
Visual arts and literature come back into my life when my creative reservoir is depleted. This usually only happens after releasing an album that has put a lot of time and energy into it. Then I invite my inner artist on dates and travel to a museum, theater or cinema. And during the creatively productive stage, I rarely go out, so sometimes I have to miss a lot.
Recently, the immortalized yours saw the light of day concert Klaipėda container terminal, now we will see you in the museum. These are definitely not everyday spaces. How important is the place where you perform your music to you, how does it affect your performance?
Over time, the place where I sing has become more and more important. I used to grab every possible opportunity, because that was already the way of the beginning, of acceleration. Now I am grateful that I can choose and receive such intriguing offers as this one - to sing in a museum. In unique places, not only I sound different, but also the audience is inclined to feel more than in the framework of a standard concert hall.
What creative stage are you currently in? You recently presented the track "Fix Yourself", performed at the important international festival "Eurosonic Noorderslag" - what's next?
I am now in the final stages of finishing my fourth album. A few final sittings are left and the final form will be clear. I'm going to release it in May. This time, music together with summer will fill our hearts with warmth and the slowness of the hot days that await us. I was trying to dream up an album title, but I found it in notes from when my inner artist and I were looking for inspiration. It's strange, but I often leave hints of the future in the past. This happened this time as well. Although I don't like the saying, it seems that there is a time for everything.
It is characterized not only by a unique timbre of voice, but also by a stage image. How important is self-expression through fashion in your life? Is it one of the ways to communicate your inner self, maybe a certain message, or is it just an inevitable part of the stage person's life that you don't think about?
I want to look memorable, sometimes even defiant. In everyday life, I dress without eccentricity - quite simply. On stage, however, I want to attract attention with everything I can and at the same time capture certain characters that I could not be anywhere else but in my imagination. For example, the image of the white cowboy was a Western rancher's fantasy for me. The stage is a space where I can play and be whatever I want. The music itself works differently - in it you hear the truest version of me and the deepest layers of my subconscious.
Did you have authority figures, ideals when you were growing up and forming as a person? If so, who were they/they? You can also sense that you are such an inspirational figure to many people in the LGBTQ+ community (of course, and not only). Do you feel it, notice it, or do people tend to share it?
I really wanted to have authority, but I grew up in a rather critical environment, so even those whom I started to admire eventually became not dear to my heart. So I gravitated towards music where admirable artists couldn't ruin their image just because I'd never met them. Freddie Mercury impressed me the most: how he was so confident on stage. I created a picture of my ideal in my imagination, but over time this teenage hobby faded.
You come from Klaipėda. When it comes to tolerance, openness, opportunities for freedom of expression, we usually imagine the Vilnius bubble, but how is it in your hometown? What kind of environment did you grow up in, was there a lot of pressure to conform to certain standards, norms, to be, for example, a "girly" girl?
I went through several phases of self-discovery as a teenager, which included both my appearance and the music I listened to. Experiments in the style of dressing always attracted comments. It's true, I almost didn't get pressured to be a girl, because I always stood pretty firmly behind the identity I was creating. I was not questioned by my classmates, friends or parents. In this place, I had the freedom to express myself as I wanted at the time. I think that my mother's sentiments for her punk youth in this place gave me freedom in the first place at home.
Of course, being a teenager was not always easy. When I was 14-15 years old, I was attacked several times by local boys and I received the comment: "I will see you again with these shoes - I will kill you". I grew up in Klaipėda's then most dangerous Fishing Port area, so I knew how to defend my dignity due to my hotter nature. We fought that time, but not to the death. Those few attacks really traumatized me, because not being a boy, receiving and giving like a boy was quite a humiliating experience for me. Paradoxically, girly girls are at risk of one type of violence, while non-traditional girls are at risk of another. No matter which one you were, you were not protected.
Perhaps one of the most difficult tasks in the life of a common man is the ability to be himself. You seem to be very good at it - how is it really? What advice would you have for someone who lacks self-confidence?
Sometimes I think: what would the world be like if everyone was what they wanted and did what they wanted? A lot of people are confused. In the past, life used to be interactive - you choose a job and work for 50 years without asking more questions about yourself or the environment. And now, it seems, the inside is calling for that more meaningful life, but inertia wins; the necessary time to be with yourself, to ask yourself questions is almost non-existent.
I would suggest that you first of all take that time for yourself and clear your desires and motivation to achieve your goals. The most important thing is to find out what is most interesting to you. There lies the passion, the driving fire of which will be enough for a lifetime - then all that remains is to take steps where you are drawn. I went to real results for almost 10 years. It was not easy for me, a impatient person, but how worthwhile it is to live life knowing that it is only one and making the most of it! And that maximum can be freely measured by the amount of inner happiness. The more of them, the more you live.
We also often still say that it's brave to be yourself - especially when we're talking about unique qualities that not everyone seems to understand or accept at first glance. What is courage to you? Would you call yourself a brave person?
Yes, I am very brave. Although the 19-year-old Rūta would experience strong anxiety and fear when she sees me now, I learned courage over time. After difficult experiences as a teenager, I came to the adult world quite closed, shy and withdrawn. Nevertheless, my heart always beat with the desire to create and be on stage, but I didn't know how. That desire was like a force and led me forward, get rid of my fears and self-criticism.
I think that courage is the joy of living. Few can experience it at least for a short time. It seems that what could be better than feeling happy in this life? At the same time, it scares many. Discomfort became comfort, unmet needs became standard, too little love became enough. The bar should be set for life. This requires courage, because everything that is old will have to fall. I think only the bravest live life to the fullest. I see no point in limiting myself in a world of endless possibilities.
Thank you for conversation!
March 9 21 p.m. The MO Marathon of the opening of the MO Museum's big exhibition "This is not available to us" will be crowned by Rūta MUR's concert. Marathon events are free with a museum ticket.
